Understanding the Window of Tolerance
One of the key concepts that can help us navigate our emotional landscape in our fast-paced world is the window of tolerance. This term, coined by Dr. Dan Siegel, refers to the optimal zone of arousal where we can function effectively and manage life's ups and downs without becoming overwhelmed.
What is the Window of Tolerance?
Have you ever felt like you were handling everything life threw at you with ease, only to suddenly feel overwhelmed or shut down? The window of tolerance is the range of emotional intensity that we can handle while staying grounded and present. When we are within this window, we can think clearly, make rational decisions, and respond to stress in a healthy way. However, when we move outside this window, we may experience either hyper-arousal (feeling overwhelmed, anxious, or panicked) or hypo-arousal (feeling numb, disconnected, or disassociated).
Noticing Ourselves
Do you know when you're within your emotional window of tolerance? In my coaching and training sessions, I focus on helping clients notice their own window of tolerance. As we work together and bring awareness to their state of being, clients can tune into when they are within or outside their window. This self-awareness is the first step towards emotional well-being.
Bringing Awareness to Protective Patterns
What do you do when you feel overwhelmed or disconnected? When clients are outside their window of tolerance, they use their protective patterns to cope with the discomfort. These patterns can include behaviors like withdrawing, becoming hypervigilant, defensive, or attacking. These patterns we developed very early in our childhood to keep us safe and secure. In our sessions, we work together to bring awareness to these patterns. Understanding these responses is crucial for developing healthier ways to manage stress.
Tools that help us Stay in our Window of Tolerance
Once we bring awareness to our state of being and our window of tolerance, we can explore different tools that help us to stay within our window. During coaching, we can practice noticing ourselves and then choosing to use tools to help us center and respond instead of reacting in our protective patterns. The more we practice using our tools, the more we can show up as our most authentic selves even amidst daily stressors. Small shifts matter and can help us stay within our emotional window. The more we bring our awareness to our state of being, the more empowered we are to courageously choose our response.
There are many tools and skills that we can use to help us find those small shifts! I share some of my go-to practices in this blog, but each person is unique and needs their own toolkit with tools that work best for them.
Would you like to have a toolkit of strategies to help you stay within your window of tolerance and show up as your most authentic self? Please reach out!
Let's get there together!
